The past can wait
by BBCkilledthejoy
Summary: Dean wants to know more about Castiel so Cas takes him to his memories when he was little and when he lived in heaven. Reviews are very much welcome. English is not my native language so sorry for the mistakes. ;


Today they were having one of those few perfect moments together, all alone, when there weren't any monsters to hunt and the world wasn't hanging on the edge. The moments like this were the thing worth living for, worth fighting for. Dean and Castiel laid together in their bed, their bodies intertwined and Cas' beautiful black feathery wings spread to the sides of the bed. Deans head pressed to Cas' neck, his nose trying to absorb the angels smell, his hands slowly and softly caressing his wings. Cas had his arms wrapped around the hunter his palm placed on the mark on his shoulder that perfectly matched his hand, a mark that meant Dean was his and he was Dean's. They didn't have to talk, the silence was so warming, so cosy. They understood each other just from touches or small sighs. Castiel wanted to lay like this forever in the hands of his hunter, but suddenly Dean broke the silence:

"Cas?" said Dean in a weary and satisfied voice.

"Hmmm?" Castiel replied with a hum as he was too deep into this moment and too afraid to break the perfection of it, afraid to let it slip away.

"Cas, you know everything about me while I know almost nothing. Tell me about your childhood, about your brothers. I don't want you to think that I'm with you just for sex, I want to know You, I want you to be honest and open with me." Dean's hands ran down Castiel's chest, caressing his perfect pale skin, he got out of angels hands and started putting small kisses on his neck. Castiel moaned at this course of action and felt Dean's lips on his skin transform into a smile before starting to kiss Cas' collar bone, getting from him moans of pleasure.

"Dean." Said Castiel in a husky voice, which gave away how pleasant this was. "I know you love me, I believe you. You know that I can say how humans feel just by looking into their eyes and you are much closer to me than any other human was or will ever be, so it's easier with you. There's not much to tell, my childhood in heaven wasn't very affable." Dean saw Cas' eyes darkening of the thought of his brothers who are now all gone. Dean whispered:

"Tell me, please?" Cas pushed Dean away a bit, like he was just a light feather, and that reminded Dean how strong this beautiful creature was. Castiel laid Dean on his back and angled himself on his side so he would be looking Dean right in the eyes.

"I will show you!" he said in an excited voice and laughed when Dean looked at him confused. Dean was starting to ask how he's going to do that, but Cas pressed his chapped lips to Dean's, silencing him. He put a hand on Dean's chest right were his heart was and whispered

"Close your eyes" Dean didn't even try to object, he just closed his eyelids and felt dizziness in his head. A few moments later he opened his eyes and saw that he was no longer in the bedroom with Cas. He was standing in the middle of a classroom full of little girls and boys, in uniforms with small little wings, they all were so alike: white wings, neat uniforms, girls with pony tails and boys with shortly cut light hair. Suddenly in the back of the class Dean spotted a boy that was very different from other angels: he had dark disheveled hair, his uniform was a bit dirty and he wasn't wearing a tie like other angels. The most important detail that captured Dean's attention was his wings they were black and much bigger than other angels', so Dean understood that this boy was Castiel. Nor the angels nor they teacher were paying any attention to Dean so he assumed he was invisible to them. He walked right at Castiel who was sitting alone, buried in his thoughts and not listening to a word the teacher was saying.

"Castiel, do you think you are too good to be paying attention in my class?" asked the angel teacher and other students giggled. Cas seemed generally surprised as he wasn't expecting to be noticed.

"No, " the angel replied in an apologizing tone.

"So now would you mind coming up here and showing us, how to teleport from one place to the other? I assume you are good at it as you are not being attentive." the teacher said with a grin. Dean could clearly sense that Castiel wasn't his favorite student. Cas' cheeks blushed a bit giving him so much innocence it made him look vulnerable and Dean wanted to hug the little guy. Castiel stood up and headed to the front of the class, but some douchy angel tucked his foot in the way and Castiel tripped falling onto the ground. Dean jumped from his place wanting to punch the little prick for mocking him but remembered that he can't do anything as this is just a memory. The whole class burst into laughter and Castiel's cheeks blushed even more.

"Lucifer!" the teacher said in a strict voice. "Do you want to be reported to the Father?" Dean saw the fear in Lucifer's eyes and grinned _"take that you evil son of a bitch"._ Lucifer shook his head and the teacher drew back his attention to Castiel:

"Castiel, we don't have the whole day. Get up and come here." Cas stood up looking at his bruised palms. Dean felt the anger and helplessness growing in him as he wasn't able to touch the boy to say that everything's tried to teleport for ten minutes without any success, the only thing he managed to do was trip over his own foot. Dean would have never thought, that Castiel was so clumsy. The bell rang announcing the end of the class and Dean was genuinely surprised by such an ordinary thing in an angel school. He didn't know what he was expecting but he thought it would be something more extraordinary. The teacher dismissed all the students but told Castiel to stay. The boy was scared and dashed. Just from his look Dean could say he was in trouble.

"Castiel" the teacher started "I know you are a smart angel but you are not paying any attention and I'm afraid I might have to fail you." The fair and panic in Cas' eyes was undeniable and Dean again felt bad for this little guy. "As it is for now I will have to report you to The Father. I have no other choice" A tear ran down little angels cheek, he was plucking the sleeve of his uniform with shaky fingers.

"You can go now." The teacher said without looking at the boy who was scared and desperate. _"Yeah"_ thought Dean _"the teacher has no sympathy for Castiel" _The little angel headed back to his desk and quickly jammed his books into the bag and ran out of the classroom slamming the door behind him. Dean was trying to keep up with him. He had no idea what angels did after class, they didn't need to sleep nor eat and Dean assumed Cas didn't have any angel friends from what he saw today. Dean saw that other angels vanished into the thin air, others flew away while Castiel was walking on foot. This made Dean smile as even the little Cas was more human than any other angel. Dean followed Castiel to a strange and tall concrete building which looked very out of place here. He assumed it was something like a hall of residence for angel students. Dean looked at the table hanging on the door, which said that there are 12 floors in which angels were distributed according to the course they were in. Dean thought that this little Cas should be in the first or second course, but he was taken aback when Castiel headed to the 11th floor. There was about 20 rooms and Dean was surprised because the building didn't look so big, but he assumed it must be some angel mojo or something. Cas walked through the door which was marked with two names "Castiel, second course and Balthazar, eleventh course". Dean walked in through the door as apparently he was like a ghost and could go right through the walls. Balthazar was lying on the bed reading book of revelations for his exam, he looked up at Cas and said:

"So I see you walked back again, Cassie. You should teleport or fly, your other classmates are doing that since the last year" Castiel looked embarrassed and sad

"You know I can't I tried but I'm just not a good angel. Maybe The Father made a mistake creating me" Castiel turned his eyes away.

"Those little brats were picking on you again, weren't they?" asked Balthazar in an angry tone. Dean was surprised by how much Balthazar was acting as a big brother with Cas. "You know I could teach them a lesson" he said cocking his eyebrows, but Castiel just shook his head

"I'm grateful but that won't change anything. Besides I don't need them I have you."

"Castiel you know that I only have two years left in school and then I'm out. You have to make friends, little brother."

"But I don't want to" Castiel said stubbornly. "They are mean to me and they will never like me, because I'm not like them." Balthazar sighed and Dean understood that he tried to have this conversation with the little angel before but it was no good. Just like now.

"Listen, Cassie. You are different and that's good, it means that you are special. Our Father never makes mistakes, so there is a reason why he created you different from others. Who are we to question his authority? Remember when some one says that you are a freak they are just jealous because they are like everyone else, while you are different. Deep down in their hearts they know that you have been created for some important purpose while they will sit here in heaven on their feathery white wings, doing boring tasks. You are special Castiel. So let's make a deal. When I leave school you promise me that you won't be alone and that you'll find yourself a friend." Castiel nodded and threw his arms around Balthazar

"You are my favourite brother and I love you!" Balthazar looked surprised by such unexpected demonstration of feelings and Dean remembered that angels weren't supposed to feel or show emotions.

"Indeed, what a peculiar thing you are, Casie." Said Balthazar snarling Castiel's hair. "I have to go Castiel, today I was assigned a human as my school project." Cas pulled away from his brother and asked

"Can I go with you, please?" Balthazar laughed and shook his head

"You know I can't take you even if I wanted to." Castiel sank his eyes and started kicking the floor with the front of his shoe. Dean couldn't help but laugh at this scene. Castiel was like a little kid and you wouldn't guess he was an angel if it weren't for the wings. Castiel's relationship with his brother reminded Dean so much of himself and Sam, suddenly Dean's thoughts were interrupted by Balthazar's voice:

"I hate seeing you sad Castiel. I know how much you want to see humans so I'm going to tell you a big secret, will you keep it?" Castiel quickly nodded with excitement in his eyes. Balthazar laughed and continued

"There is this room that only graduated angels are allowed to go in. It has a big screen where we can watch human lives. Have you ever heard about TV, Castiel?" Cass nodded "Well it's something like that. It allows you to choose a country a city a family or a person you want to watch. We can't go in there but I used to sneek in all the time so I think I will manage to do that again if you want." Castiel's face lit up with excitement, he looked like a little boy who just got his favourite toy.

"Yes Balthazar I want to! You are the best" Castiel hugged his brother once again and Dean saw how satisfying it was for Balthazar to make his brother happy. "_Just like me and Sam_" Dean thought. He couldn't believe that the cocky asshole he met back on earth was the same angel holding his little brother and doing everything to cheer him up. Dean couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. He could relate to Balthazar more than to any other angel - loyal to his brother, determined to do everything to make him happy and to make sure he's safe. Dean started to feel the dizziness in his head again and he felt a hand on his shoulder, the room became blurry and quickly faded away. Dean opened his eyes and saw Cas, his Cas, looking at him, a little smile playing on his lips

"How was it?" he asked, the excitement in his voice. Dean grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a kiss, touching his beautiful wings. Cas pulled away and said:

"Well I take it as you liked it. If I'm going to get a kiss like that every time, I should show you more of my memories" Dean looked into his blue eyes and nodded:

"I can't believe I haven't asked you to show me that sooner. You have to show me more, **Casie!**" Dean smiled. Castiel put his hand on Dean's shoulder, the other hand slowly caressing bare and masculine chest. He leaned closer to him his lips just an inch away from Dean's ear:

"Well, I have more fun things in my mind, for now!" Dean grinned, turned Castiel on his back, pinning his hands to the bed

"I guess the past can wait" he pressed his lips against Cas' biting his bottom lip and getting moan of pleasure from Cas. The past can wait.

* * *

**I actually haven't decided whether to leave this here or to keep on writing other chapters with other memories of Cas? Do you guys want more? ;)**


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